In this blog we'll discuss the pros and cons of celebrating Mother’s Day and give our top tips for a less commercialized, more thoughtful holiday in 2024. We've updated our Mother's Day Guide for 2024, full of tips and tricks to celebrate Mother's Day more sustainably. Read on to find out our tips for a more thoughtful Mother's Day.

On the second Sunday of May, millions of Americans will celebrate Mother’s Day. For many, it’s an opportunity to say ‘thank you’ to the woman who raised them, and across the country, moms can expect cards, gifts, flowers and brunch—a whole lot of brunch. What’s not to love, huh?

These days, however, nothing’s quite so simple—and even Mother’s Day has its objectors. Yes, though it might surprise some readers, there are people who don’t think we should celebrate Mother’s Day at all. They say its traditions are outdated, unhelpful and exclusionary.

Others argue its simply due a makeover. After all, the holiday was officially recognized over 100 years ago—and look what’s changed since then! The question is: how can we make Mother’s Day fit for the 21st century?

Well, for starters, we need to identify what to keep, what to lose and what to add. In this article, we’ll discuss the positives as well as some common objections, before offering our top tips for a better holiday in 2024 and beyond.

Here’s a quick summary:

Mother’s Day in the US: A (Very) Brief History

– Mother’s Day became an officially recognized national holiday in 1914.

– This followed a decade-long campaign led by Anna Jarvis (1864—1948).

– Jarvis was inspired by her own mother, a peace activist who organized events for mothers of soldiers on both sides of the American Civil War.

– For Jarvis, Mother’s Day was about honoring “the person who has done more for you than anyone in the world”.

– White carnations were her chosen emblem—symbolizing purity, charity and love.

– The holiday became commercialized when the greeting card, confectionery and floral industries realized there was big money to be made.

– By the 1920s, Anna Jarvis was critical of the holiday she’d founded—arguing that commercialization detracted from the day’s true message.

– She eventually petitioned to abolish Mother’s Day, before her death in 1948.

– Despite Jarvis’ efforts, the holiday is now big business—Americans spend billions of dollars on Mother’s Day merchandise every year.

So, let me get this right, even the woman who helped to establish Mother’s Day later fought to abolish it? Not a great sign, huh? Then again, the holiday has endured for over 100 years—so there must other reasons why people choose to celebrate it. Surely, it can’t all be the work of Hallmark and Teleflora.

With that mind, let’s take a moment to discuss what makes Mother’s Day such a special occasion for millions of Americans.

Why should we celebrate Mother’s Day?

– These days, anyone and anything can have their/its own special holiday, but seriously, who deserves one more than your mom? She only GAVE YOU LIFE, after all.

– Mother’s Day is an opportunity to show your appreciation for everything she’s done (and continues to do) for you. And if that means spending a bit on her—what’s wrong with that?

– We all lead our own lives, and sometimes it’s not possible to show our love every single day. Occasions like Mother’s Day provide a focal point for our affection—it’s a reason to pick up the phone, make the journey home and, yes, buy a big bunch of flowers.

– For kids, it’s a chance to get creative and do something special for Mom. The holiday teaches them important values, like gratitude and thoughtfulness.

– Our moms work incredibly hard, and they deserve a break from time to time. Whether she’s kicking butt at work or pulling the strings at home, being your mom is a tiring business, so make the effort and let’s take care of her for a change!

– Whether you admire her ambition, courage, wisdom or sass, Mother’s Day is the time to tell her. Say it in person or write it in a card—just let her know what an inspiration she is! Trust us, it’ll mean a lot.

– Of course, Mother’s Day doesn’t have to be ALL about Mom. Give thanks to all the wonderful women in your life—grandmas, aunts, sisters, friends—and perhaps take a moment to reflect on motherhood in general. Spare a thought for those less fortunate too.

Clearly there are plenty of great reasons to celebrate Mother’s Day this year. But what about the people who object to the holiday? Are they totally wrong to do so? 

Well, before you make up your mind, let’s outline some of their common arguments…

Why should we abolish/rethink Mother’s Day?

It’s become over-commercialized.

Yep, there’s no denying that Mother’s Day is now a multi-billion dollar industry. Every year, we’re bombarded with advertisements telling us to spend, spend, spend!

And we do, of course. In 2018, Americans were expected to shell out over $20 billion dollars on Mother’s Day gifts—what would Anna Jarvis have made of that?

Those, like her, who’re against commercialization, argue that it distracts from the day’s true purpose. They ask: should our idea of Mother’s Day really be shaped by the big companies who stand to profit?

Obviously, there’s an important distinction between picking out a thoughtful gift and just buying something for the sake of it. Your mom might really appreciate a gift you’ve chosen carefully with her likes and interests in mind.

Then again, do we put too much emphasis on things, when we’d do better honoring moms by our words and actions instead?

Something to think about, definitely.

It can be deeply upsetting for some people.

Maybe they’ve lost their mother recently, or perhaps they’ve always wanted kids but can’t conceive. They might have a difficult relationship with their mom or lack a positive female role model altogether.

Whatever the reason, Mother’s Day can be a painful occasion, and it’s worth remembering before we flaunt our own plans. A day that’s devoted to motherhood will naturally trigger strong emotions in some people, and though they may try to avoid it, that’s far more easily said than done.

In the weeks leading up to it, Mother’s Day is everywhere. Rose-tinted advertisements appear on our TV and social media, while stores and restaurants promote their cut-price deals. On the day itself, there are special church services, big family get-togethers, and of course, a thousand more posts on Facebook and Instagram.

Those who find Mother’s Day difficult don’t necessarily begrudge all these things. Other people are entitled to their happiness. It’s just that the fanfare surrounding the holiday makes no allowance for their feelings.

Maybe it’s on us to show a bit more consideration.

It reinforces outdated gender stereotypes

If we think of Mother’s Day as a ‘day off’ for Mom—notably, a day free of household chores and childcare—what does it say about society’s expectations of her for the rest of the year? Doesn’t it merely perpetuate the idea that a mother’s place is first and foremost in the home?

Stereotypes like this do real harm, but around Mother’s Day, card and gift retailers consistently pander to them. At first glance, the message seems positive—moms are praised for their tenderness, patience and sacrifice—yet by reducing motherhood to a few traditionally feminine qualities, we overlook so much more.

Everyone’s different and there’s more than one way to be a mom—surely, it’s time Mother’s Day reflected that better.

…and it can make non-binary parents feel excluded.

While we’re on the subject of diversity, let’s not forget those parents who identify as non-binary. Their experience of gender can’t be categorized as simply male or female, and as a result, some feel excluded by highly gendered holidays like Mother’s Day.

Even if they identify as a mother, their experience of motherhood is not necessarily represented by the traditional celebration or the language and imagery that surrounds it. Indeed, the same can be said for any mom who doesn’t conform to the Hallmark image.

It’s bad for the environment.

Holidays like Mother’s Day promote consumerism, which is bad for the environment—period.

The pressure to ‘treat Mom to something special’ leads us to make purchases without considering the environmental or ethical consequences. And there are plenty.

Trees are cut down to make schmaltzy greeting cards. Flowers travel for miles in gas-guzzling refrigerated trucks. Stores encourage us to buy more, more, more—and in turn, the waste piles up, up, up.

If we’re serious about tackling the ongoing environmental crisis, it’s clear that lots of things—yep, including Mother’s Day—will have to change.

It’s not really a rest for Mom at all.

The trouble with telling moms to take a day off is that things tend not to get done. She’s a busy woman, after all, and it’s not like anyone else picks up the slack while she’s obliged to put her feet up.

Take her special breakfast in bed, for example. Sure, the kids enjoyed preparing it, and Mom appreciated the cute gesture—but what about the dishes? We’ve heard from plenty of moms who end up doing these the next day—happy Mother’s Day indeed!

Not everyone enjoys being the center of attention, and moms might find the pressure to perform stressful. Thanks to advertising, people have certain expectations of what Mother’s Day should be, and they’re disappointed if the real thing falls short of these.

All in all, some moms would prefer to do away with the holiday altogether. I mean, what good is one day anyway, when it’s business as usual for the rest of the year?

Which brings us to our final point…

It’s simply not enough.

Surely, we should be honoring our mothers all year round, and not just on one arbitrary date. C’mon, she’s the woman responsible for bringing you into the world—and that was just the start of it!

Celebrating Mother’s Day is no substitute for year-round respect and gratitude. An annual outpouring of thanks is all very well and good, but our moms deserve real support.

If we consider this point on a national level, we might ask: what more can be done to support American mothers?

The US is still one of few developed countries not to guarantee paid maternity leave. Working moms struggle disproportionately with income instability, stress and poor health due to a lack of crucial workplace protections.

When moms face these very real obstacles, doesn’t Mother’s Day begin to look like a band-aid solution? This year, shouldn’t we prioritize real action over well-meaning sentiment?

Okay, do you see where we’re coming from now?

Clearly there are valid reasons for choosing not to celebrate Mother’s Day—whether you agree with all of them or not is another matter.

But let’s finally move on to our top tips for a more mindful, more meaningful Mother’s Day in 2024.

Our Guide to a Perfect Mother's Day

1. Be there for Mom - even if you can't be there with Mom.

I think we can all agree that the last two years have thrown up some challenges, one being the fact we couldn't see our loved ones in person (unless we lived with them - which had its own challenges.) But, being the resourceful human beings we are, we adapted and found ways to socialize from a distance. Zoom happy hours, online escape rooms, and virtual pub quizzes were just a few of the ways we found to connect from far away.

Even though we're nearly out of the woods (and we really don't want to jinx it) there could be so many reasons to connect virtually on Mother's Day. Whether Mom lives far away, is still being cautious or has to self-isolate, we love the following solutions for a virtual Mother's Day:

Virtual Brunch

Love it or think it's grossly overrated, the divisive meal of brunch has become ubiquitous with Mother's Day, with families flocking in their hoards to sink bottomless mimosas at twelve in the afternoon with Mom. 

We know this is a classic tradition that you might be sad to give up - but just because you can't have brunch in person, out at a restaurant, doesn't mean your Mother's Day needs to be brunchless. 

We love Goldbelly for this purpose - why not treat Mom to a decadent New York brunch from the legendary Russ & Daughters?

In her branded tote bag, she'll receive everything she needs to indulge in an authentic NYC brunch from the comfort of home. Ahhh, I can almost hear the angry cab drivers arguing!

Her brunch box contains a mix of fresh bagels, Gaspe Nova, cream cheese, and a chocolate babka to finish.

If you want to add a celebratory touch, why not send Mom a bottle of Champagne or Prosecco in the mail to accompany her meal?

2. Keep it personal.

We’re all different, so don’t let anyone else dictate how you celebrate Mother’s Day (even us). It’s about your relationship with your mom, so do whatever feels right to you and don’t feel pressured by advertising or other people’s plans.

3. It’s not about what you spend.

Sure, sometimes it’s nice to spoil our loved ones, but it’s the thought that really counts. A mother’s love can’t be measured in dollars and cents, and nor can our gratitude. With a little creativity, you can enjoy a wonderful Mother’s Day without splurging on expensive gifts or meals—so don’t be persuaded otherwise!

4. Give gifts that mean something.

We asked our 100 survey respondents to identify the best gifts from a list of Mother’s Day favorites. The most popular choice? A handwritten card, of course (we’ll call that a win for our last two points). Dinner, brunch, experience gifts, and a day’s peace & quiet also scored highly.

The results confirmed a suspicion of ours—the most meaningful gifts are often not things but experiences. Spending time with family and friends, trying something new, escaping routine, making memories—these are the things that people really want!

This Mother’s Day, why not treat Mom to something a bit different? At Xperience Days, we’ve an incredible range of experience gift certificates to browse, with prices starting at around $20. You’ll find everything from dining cruises and art classes to hot air balloon rides and NASCAR driving—seriously, there’s something for all types of mom!

5. Shop ethically.

If you do plan on giving a traditional Mother’s Day gift, take a moment to consider its ethical credentials. Has it been produced sustainably? Were the people who made it treated fairly? Do the processes involved harm or protect our natural environment?

These days, we should all try to be more mindful shoppers—and a little research goes a long way. Of course, not everyone can afford the very best, but it’s about doing what you can with the budget you’ve got. Buy less, buy better—it’s a simple mantra we can all aspire to!

Don’t know where to start? Well, here are a few of our favorite ethical brands to check out this Mother’s Day:

Alter Eco—Alter Eco believes in enlightened indulgence. They’ve pioneered a full circle approach to chocolate making, and their tempting range of sustainably-packaged sweet treats are all organic, Fairtrade and carbon neutral-certified.

Urban Stems—Urban Stems works with Rainforest Alliance Certified™ farms to create fresh, unique bouquets that’re fit for any occasion. Those who plant, grow and pick their flowers are guaranteed above-average wages, access to healthcare and good working conditions.

Askanya— Askanya is a women-owned chocolate brand from Haiti. Using ethically-sourced cacao and 100% natural ingredients, this brand empowers their farmers with fair trade practices, producing delectable bean-to-bar chocolate that Mom will love!

The Bouqs Co.—The Bouqs Co. is an online flower seller grounded in transparency, responsibility and simplicity. They partner with sustainable, eco-friendly farms and local florists to bring a little romance and delight to your day.

Same Sky—Same Sky aims to empower women by creating employment opportunities in both Rwanda and the US. They train and support female artisans living in poverty-stricken areas, utilizing their skills to create beautiful jewelry that really makes a difference.

Purpose—Purpose jewelry is handcrafted by young women rescued from human trafficking. The brand keeps collections stylish and affordable, while providing its artisans with the life skills and holistic care they need to thrive in the future.

Able—Able is an ethical fashion brand that’s tackling generational poverty by protecting and investing in women. They employ women in Ethiopia, Mexico, Peru and the US—providing a fair wage and healthy work environment to those who need it most.

Raven + Lily—Raven + Lily is another fashion brand making a positive impact in women’s lives. Their leather bags and jewelry are Fairtrade-certified and carbon neutral, and every purchase helps to fund a micro-loan program supporting female entrepreneurs in partner communities.

6. Forget social media.

We get it—you’ve spent ages planning the picture-perfect Mother’s Day celebration, and now you’re ready to share it with the world. Maybe you’ve been sitting on that photo of Mom (looking so chic on her honeymoon in Paris) for months, just waiting for an opportunity to post it.

Before taking to Facebook or Instagram, however, ask yourself: who’s this really for?

The Mother’s Day social media post has become an annual tradition, but it’s often one more for the poster’s benefit than their mom’s. It’s certainly no substitute for spending real time together, on a day that oughtn’t to be about counting likes or comparing yourself to others.

Take our advice—enjoy a break from social media and stay present this Mother’s Day.

7. Be considerate of others.

There will always be those who, for whatever reason, find Mother’s Day difficult, and we should try to remember this before flaunting our own happiness. Take a moment to consider whether anyone you know may be struggling—might the day bring up painful memories or leave them feeling shut out?

Of course, just because someone’s lost their mom or identifies as non-binary, it doesn’t necessarily follow that they’re unhappy on Mother’s Day. After all, everyone responds to things in their own way. Still, being more mindful of other people’s feelings is a good habit to keep, and it may help you understand the need to…

8. Reach out.

If you do know someone who struggles on Mother’s Day, get in touch and let them know you’re thinking of them. It’s probably not in your power to resolve the underlying issues, but you can still help them through it. Call them, invite them out, make plans for the following week—it really doesn’t take much to brighten someone’s outlook.

9. Make a difference.

Many moms still live in extremely difficult circumstances, often without the basic necessities to support themselves or their families. You could do something to help this Mother’s Day by donating to a charity that works with moms at home or abroad. Here are just a few worthy causes:

Feeding America—Feeding America is the country’s largest domestic hunger-relief organization.

Futures Without Violence—Futures Without Violence has spent over 30 years fighting to end violence against women, children and families.

Every Mother Counts—Every Mother Counts works to achieve quality, respectful, and equitable maternity care for all mothers.

Help A Mother Out—Help A Mother Out aims to improve baby and family wellbeing by supplying diapers to those in need.

10. Remember its lessons.

One day of gratitude rings hollow if we don’t cherish our moms for the rest of the year. We all have our own lives to live (Mom too), but a little extra effort can make a big difference.

Thanks for reading our newly updated guide to an ethical Mother's Day.

If you’ve made it this far—congratulations! We hope you’ve enjoyed our discussion and taken away at least a few tips. However you spend it, have a happy Mother’s Day come May 12th.