July 1st, 2015
International Joke Day 2015
Here’s to all you funny-boned guys and gals…it’s officially International Joke Day, and whilst the true origins of this “holiday” (we’ll call it that for lack of a better term) are not technically confirmed, what does seem to be clear is that many of our favourites pre-date “Joke Day” by many, MANY years!
But let’s be clear; International Joke Day is not about playing jokes (or tricks) on anyone, it’s all about sharing the silly one-liners and punchlines that tickle you, with friends and even strangers around the world, all in the name of making someone laugh. We love this idea, so we thought we’d share a few classics, as well as some of the office favourites – check them out…
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day… but I couldn’t find any!
Doris locked that’s why I am knocking!
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger… Then it hit me!
What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away!
A homeless guy manages to sneak onto a cruise ship heading to the Caribbean. They get half way and the captain spots him and tells him that he is to get off at their next stop as it doesn’t give the ship a good image. The man pleads with the captain and explains how going on a cruise ship has been a life time ambition of his. He then asked the captain if he could perform his party trick to the passengers and if they are impressed could he stay for the duration? The captain agrees. With that the tramp climbs up to the diving board above the pool and jumps. He crashes through the floor unhurt and ready to go again. He manages to pull the jump off each time with success and passing through floor after floor on each attempt. The crowd goes crazy and the captain cannot believe his eyes. He taps the man on the shoulder and asks how on earth could he perform such a trick. The man replies “Being homeless I have been through many a hard ship in my time.”!
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was outstanding in his field!
Don’t be silly – opportunity doesn’t knock twice!
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend awake.
“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.”
“What does that tell you?” Holmes questioned.
Watson pondered for a minute. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?”
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. “Watson, you idiot…It tells me that someone has stolen our tent!”
Okay…we know, they’re pretty bad, so feel free to send us your favourite (clean) jokes…we love a giggle, and who knows, if it passes the funny test, we might even share it with our social media fans!